What the hellboy? Hmm.
When a movie opens with a bedtime story about how someone can challenge the ruler of the Empire for control of the Golden Army, you know exactly how that movie is going to end.
When a movie opens with a bedtime story that is eerily similar to that told at the beginning of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, involving an army-controlling crown separated into three pieces and passed off onto the different races, you know that the director of the movie is off to make the “Hobbit” pretty damn soon.
When a movie review opens with this kind of stuff, you wonder how bad I hated it. The surprise would be that I actually quite liked it. But we’ll get to that…
First things first. Hellboy is not human. He’s a monster from Hell. This may be a point of contention, and maybe I’m not open-minded enough… but it really, really hurts the title character that he’s not human. He’s already behind the eight-ball because of it.
Despite the fact that Hellboy is cool, gruff, and beastly, it is hard to understand where he’s coming from in this movie. There just seems to be nothing in this movie that provides any reasons why Hellboy does the things that he does. I don’t know why he walks from Point A to Point B on the screen, or why Liz is angry with him early on during the movie, or why Liz says that he’s the best man she’s ever known, because the story does not deliver.
Both Hellboy and Hellboy 2 go to great lengths to humanise the title character. But where Hellboy shows the vulnerable side of the title character (wanting to be outside, pining for the girl, getting jealous of Myers), Hellboy 2 falls way short. Maybe Del Toro felt that he’d already been there and done that in the first movie. I’m sorry, but he screwed up royal here.
What makes things worse, is that Hellboy has no motivation in this movie. He’s got nothing to do. We don’t know what’s making him tick. He’s just there, on a mission, reacting to his girl and the rest of his comrades in arms. This is bad writing, and is no fault of Ron Perlman, who is sickeningly good as Hellboy. His antics own this movie. He plays the part extremely well, even considering the abject directionlessness he’s been saddled with.
The biggest problem with this movie is the odd way that the movie chooses to present its characters to the audience. The characters seem only to demonstrate specific aspects of their personality when the situation (or the script) dictates that they must do so. To take an example, we have Hellboy watching himself on the news, looking beyond pleased with himself that he’s now known to the outside world. This is all well and good, but it occurs in a vacuum. There had been very little allusion earlier in the film that Hellboy wanted to be known to the outside world. Furthermore Liz mentions that she doesn’t like people staring at her because it makes her feel like a freak. Again, this occurs in a vacuum. The list goes on.
I think this all boils down to a lack of vision for what this movie was about. Another movie about Hellboy is not a vision. It’s a money-making venture. Where is the overarching theme that drives the characters onwards? This fires plot, and makes situations believable. There are two perfectly good concepts in the above paragraph that were wasted. The movie could have been based around either, but instead it was based on nothing, and the characters struggled for it, with no opportunity for growth as events unfolded.
Because of this lack of theme, we’re also stuck with boring peripheral characters. We’re stuck with a very 2D Prince Nuada as the main villain. He fights cool, but he’s got all his holier than thou bull-s*** working against him. He’s very uninteresting. Even poorer is his sister, Princess Nuara, who is unlike any other movie character I’ve seen in a long time. This chick is all plot device. There is literally nothing she does in the movie that does not first and foremost, advance the plot, or act as a convenient plot device. Watch her and see if you don’t believe me. Especially take note of this where Abe Sapien is in the room.
So, I said something earlier about actually quite liking this movie…
The special effects in this movie are freaking good. This is the Pan’s Labyrinth guy here people, so expect some good visual stuff, and lots of characters without eyes, for some strange reason. The Tooth Fairies, the Plant Monster / Elemental, and the Golden Army are just a few of the really good set pieces in here.
I think Hellboy fits Del Toro’s style very well, and he really tries to inject some fun into the creepy Pan’s motif. It works well. It’s got a lot of the charm of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series. Hellboy’s wit, and the way he goes about things are very enjoyable to watch. This worked well in Hellboy, and remains steady in the sequel. Johann Krauss was also a superb addition, adding to the oddball humour of the movie. In fact, the relationship between Johann and Hellboy is a highlight, mostly because some thought was put into how each character could grow in response to one another. If only this had been done between some of the other characters…
Both Hellboy and Liz Sherman pack a punch in this movie, when they are allowed to do so by the script. It’s hard to describe, but even though no growth or motivation was written into the script for their characters, they do display the vulnerabilities of everyday people. They are both dealing with all sorts of world-ending supernatural stuff, but Hellboy is drinking his woes away, and Liz is freaking out human-style about getting knocked up. Both Ron Perlman and Selma Blair are very good in their roles, mostly in the ways that they stick it to us that underneath it all, they are still human. There’s certainly limited opportunity for them to show this, but it’s there when they get the chance.
The rapport between the core group is also expertly established in this film. I especially like the moment where Abe tells Liz that she’s pregnant, and then shortly after, the pregnancy test scene where Abe puts his hand on the door and speaks to Liz on the other side. It’s only a few seconds each time, but it’s great stuff. These guys know each other inside out, and would have each other’s back forever. What’s more, you know it just from watching them. That’s good acting. It’s almost frustrating how good some of this stuff is, when you look at how badly Del Toro seemed to misfire on developing some motivation for his characters.
I can’t think of a better way to end this review than with the above. In the end it’s ultimately pointless to wonder what might have been, but with this one, I wonder harder than most. This movie could have been f***in’ A, but it wasn’t. Let’s hope Del Toro takes notes before getting started on Part 3.
P.S. Any movie that shows Selma Blair in her undies at least once can’t be all bad.
